THE EVIL INQUISITION ISSUE 6

HOT BUTTERED ANAL - 'Please Kill Me'
[Spare Change]


This 'Providence', 'Rhode Island' thrash metal crossover band will probably have the same first impression that they had on me. Look at the bands moniker of 'Hot Buttered Anal' and you'll think here comes another grind outfit along the same theme as the talentless 'Anal Cunt'. You would however be totally wrong and as this bands debut full length release 'Please Kill me' winds along it's often merry way you'll be pleasantly surprised as they transcend thrash and head off into punk and hardcore pastures too. Not only can this band play and play well but their songs are fun and intelligently written, and most importantly of all manage to offend and come across as vulgar and crass whilst still being good. Eat your knob off 'Anal Cunt'. For me the cream of the crop is 'Flaming Robots' about the intricacies of same sex mechanical love, because remember gay robots need love too, as well as the overly simplistic but very direct and in your face 'Your Dead'. If 'Freedom For The Lobsters' [Finally a cause worth fighting for] doesn't crack you up then the rest of this totally whacky but instantly lovable repertoire will. 'Hot Buttered Anal', a band who prove that you can be insulting yet talented. [8]
http://www.myspace.com/hotbutteredanal

HOT BUTTERED ANAL - 'Lies'
[Spare Change]


It's time once again to catch up the 'Rhode Island' three piece of 'Hot Buttered Anal' and see what glorious out pourings they have come up with in the shape and form of their latest release 'Lies'. The band would like to announce first off they are not retarded, you heard if hear first but what they are is following a trend, a trend set by themselves to play funky funny ass music that's both entertaining and totally politically incorrect. Indeed in 'Just Try it' the band take on an almost 'Rage Against The Machine' like chant of 'Go Ahead Just Try It I'll Kill You' [Remember 'Fuck You I Won't Do What You Tell Me'] whilst 'Choke The Bitch' tells of the age old story of a goddamn lazy bitch not doing the damn housework. The comedy tot his track is the music suddenly stopping and a call to the singer where he panders to her nagging and tells her how much he loves while the band snigger like infantile school children behind the teachers back. incidentally though if you are a single lady looking for love, listen to 'I Want A Girl' and you may decide to stay that way unless your seriously perverted and/or fucked totally in the head. The moral of this story is simply this, 'Hot Buttered Anal' are fun and fantastic, for fans of the 'Macc Lads' for sure and anyone who likes to offend or be offended. [8]
http://www.myspace.com/hotbutteredanal

ILLUMINATUS - 'The Wrath Of The Lambs'
[Pork Neck]


I'll get this out of the way nice and early, Illuminatus are one of the greatest bands I have ever heard! From their early days making their appearance at Bloodstock and with their three track demo entitled 'Aborted Revolutions' under their belt Illuminatus were already on superb form but 'Wrath Of The Lambs' has really taken the band beyond their preset parametres and elevated them to almost deity like status! Whether it be 'Wait' the emotional and oddly chilling thriller or the instrumental and title track 'The Wrath Of The Lambs' or even the up to date versions of 'Wargasm' or 'White Lies', Illuminatus is music, message and artwork are simply staggering in their brilliance and bettered by virtually nobody! In years to come this will be a band that new aspiring bands look up to and 'The Wrath Of The Lambs' will be the turning point release where people note the coming of age of a band with such immense talent and best of all, Illuminatus are British band making our scene just that little bit better than the rest! [10]
http://www.myspace.com/illuminatusuk

LORDS OF BUKKAKE - 'Lords Of Bukkake'
[Gaia]


What kind of credibility can a band called 'Lords Of Bukkake' ever expect to receive? So what do I have to do? Sit through this entire four track debut demo and think of some hot blonde getting jizzed upon by forty complete strangers? Lets be serious for a moment if you can though because this bands self titled debut demo is fucking superb. Spanish doom has never really been at the forefront of the metal communities thinking but get this... a Spanish doom band creates a sound with such vigour and class as this one have, with such amazingly doomalisious riff-age, such raw and enticing almost black metal vocals and most importantly one of the catchiest groove laden riff effects you will ever hear! Yet the band realise that to get heard these days is a hard task what with Myspace and the like absolutely swamped with clone bands and sit at home solo projects using pro-tools, so what do you do? you package your amazing sounding CD with impressive artwork, in this case a scene that looks like a Chernobyl aftermath and then you give yourself the kind of moniker that everyone will notice! Stupid name or utter genius? I'm going for the latter. [9]
http://www.myspace.com/lordsofbukkake

MOLOKEN - 'We All Face The Dark Alone'
[Discouraged]


'We All Face The Dark Alone' is a fifteen minute one track marathon created and performed by Swedish doom outfit 'Moloken'. If you like your music to be of an easy listening persuasion which most of you will agree is entirely possible even in metal then you are going to be sorely disappointed as 'We All Face The Dark Alone' is the epitome of its nightmarish artwork and its foreboding name. 'Moloken' is a writhing vessel in which all the night time horrors of the world are a passenger. It's harbours terror and far as if they were tourists on an air liner and it dispenses adrenaline fueled noise therapy through your speakers at a truly alarming rate. Everything about this one track release screams darkened, blackened even quality that can shred the skin off of your bones and drink your blood for breakfast. 'We All Face The Dark Alone' is a message, a statement of intent to those who think like is a picnic. there is always something to fear, a new evil bringing pain and suffering and this release keeps that in the forefront of your minds. Think on people! [9]
http://www.myspace.com/moloken

MY COLD EMBRACE/RAPTURE - 'Schnittmenge' [Split Release]
[Unsigned]


This split EP comes straight from the deepest depths of Germany and combines two bands with differing styles but a like minded sense of unity. 'Rapture' from 'Munich' play with an almost 1950's style of horror show style and it adds a diversity and uniqueness to their sound that is instantly refreshing. 'My Cold Embrace' on the other hand stick to the more trodden path of unrelenting brutality and fast aggressive riff-age rather than exploring new avenues, not that this is a bad thing as the 'Kassel' based five piece dive head first into their generic but fundamentally ballistic repertoire. One quality that both bands share in abundance is a severe raw sound, but on the balance of things you have to give the entertainment credit to 'Rapture' who play from the bowels and give off one of the most evil sinister vibes you are ever likely to hear! 'My Cold Embrace' on the other hand prefer the more progressive track with nicely executed blasts of in your face sound and noise. both bands are highly different but highly impressive and the contrast between the two makes for a well rounded EP and one well worth grabbing a copy of. [7.5]
http://www.myspace.com/rapturemunich
http://www.myspace.com/mycoldembrace

NADIR - 'Those Who Bought The Rain'
[Unsigned]


Cast your mind back through the last few decades to any zombie film you have ever seen. 'Dawn Of The Dead', 'The City Of The Dead', 'Zombie Flesh Eaters'... seriously any of them and you will see some poor hapless individual being ripped open by their throat. In fact more up to date, 'Davina McCall' in 'Deadset'. Fuck that was funny. OK to the point now and what I am getting at is this. 'Viktor Tauszik' the front man for Budapest based Deathcore outfit 'Nadir' sounds like he has been an extra in any of the above films. This though is a compliment. his vocal style is saw raw that he sounds like he is sanding the inside of his throat with a Mach three Gillette razor and the outcome is the most brutal vocals you are ever likely to hear. the guy must have a sore throat after every song which begs the question how long does it tale to record the album? Actually it begs another question which is why does he do it to himself? All zombie name dropping aside though and what you have here is one heavy sounding album of superb riff-age and uncontrollably brutal blisteringly aggressive melodies that lyrically even pack a political punch here and there. 'Those Who Bought The Rain' is a stunner to put it simply and has the kind of talent to put Hungary well and truly on the metal map. [9]
http://www.myspace.com/nadirhungary

NOMAD SON - 'First Light'
[Metal On Metal]


Maltese five piece 'Nomad Son' have released their debut full length 'First Light' which lists itself as doom but glaringly comes across as old school heavy metal with some doom and power influences. Now moving comfortably into the new millennia Malta is becoming somewhat of a limited (due to the islands's size) hotbed of up an coming metal bands and this eight track certainly packs potential. 'First Light' features enough hooks to keep you interested and somewhat entertained whilst never really blowing you're mind yet for a debut album 'Nomad' perform well with some slow paced groove worked into almost every song. For fans of the old school variety 'First Light' should peak you're interest at the very least and for those who aren't you can still sit back and enjoy the melodies! [6]
http://www.myspaCe.com/nomadsonmalta

OLDE CRONE - 'Olde Crone'
[PsycheDOOMelic]


First of all let us start with this, a point for utterly stating the obvious which this week goes to The Metal Encyclopedia or rather the member who has put on the bands profile "Olde Crone is highly influenced by Black Sabbath". One minute into 'Norse Torch' and this is already more than clear! Yet if you will indulge me here for a moment or two of your time I would like to liken 'Olde Crone', twin them if you will with the blockbusting film 'The Shawshank Redemption'. I know you are more than likely thinking well where is he going with this but hear me out. 'The Shawshank Redemption' starts slowly and rather than climbing up to its crescendo or peak it just ambles along at it's own pace, then it ends. The same can be said for 'Olde Crone' who seem to be under no pressure at all to rush proceedings and so groove on within their own steam through seven tracks of unadulterated doom goodness. Now your thinking well is that it? No it isn't! 'The Shawshank Redemption' packed quite a punch in it's own way without ever breaking sweat, that is 'Olde Crone'!! The film was laced with sodomy, betrayal and deep emotions circulating around loss and hopelessness, and then a hope re born and in many ways that is 'Olde Crone' too. What I think really twins the too is the dirt and the grime. In his escape Andy climbs through two hundred yards of other inmates feces to win his freedom, where as 'Olde Crone' are a band drenched in so much filth and murk that it positively hangs off of every chord played, every groove laden riff laid down, on the vocals, the drumming and the deep bass lines that adorn the EP. I'm saving the best until last though! The epitome of why 'Olde Crone' and 'The Shawshank Redemption' are so alike is this, the film is genius, enjoyable and most definitely a classic despite the fact that it never actually gets going and that sums up 'Olde Crone' to a T! Throw Morgan Freeman into the mix and i'll be in heaven! [8]
http://www.myspace.com/oldecrone

PRAETORIAN - 'Threnody'
[Unsigned]


Melbourne, a town that features one of my favourite things, Albert Park home to the opening race of every Formula One world championship. If ever I needed a reason to visit what looks like such a beautiful city then that would be it. Now though I have another reason in the form of death doom band 'Praetorian' who have given me a look into the Melbourne night life featuring big riffs and impressive solos as well as a gruff demeanour and hostile inner rage! Marking the first of a two part special on this Aussie four piece, 'Threnody' was the bands first full length release way back in 2002 when the world was still reeling from vicious 'terrorist' attacks! Depending on what you believe that is. 'Praetorian' play loud and feel totally alive with a predatory air and an axe wielding dominance as well as a fast paced sound featuring hook after hook after brutal melody! What is most impressive though about the band and about 'Threnody' is the utterly grandiose style and the very big sound! It all sounds so well thought out but without a clinical or methodical edge which in this case would probably dampen the experience, and what an experience 'Praetorian' truly are! Raw sounding huge riff orientated death doom metal straight from the Australian peninsula to blow your mind and take you on a journey of mind altering discovery!! [8]
http://www.myspace.com/praetorian

PRAETORIAN - 'Crushing Torment'
[Unsigned]


So on to the second part of my 'Praetorian' double header which leads us on to the bands 2006 second full length release 'Crushing Torment' which just by it's name alone takes on a much more depressing tone! The first thing that I noticed is that whilst 'Praetorian's' sound remains littered with well placed harsh growls and deep booming riffs, there is a much softer side to the bands approach in placed with some very 'Genesis' like interludes which could be straight from the keyboard of 'Tony Banks', indeed the melodies add so much more to the bands already thrilling sound and takes me on a nostalgia trip back to the 80's and 'Home By The Sea'. Enough of the 'Genesis' name drops though!! The progressive rock element entwined into 'Praetorian's' new sound though cannot be ignored and nor can it be denied that it is truly superb. Yet whilst the more intricate style that 'Praetorian' have incorporated works it's magic you also must contend with the bands old and trusted method of bludgeoning riffs, harsh raw vocals and a dominant streak a mile wide. Needless to say though that the bands progression over the last few years have been expansive and impressive and I cannot wait for the next installment. I hope they don't keep me waiting until 2010!! [8.5]
http://www.myspace.com/praetorian